Hassle-Free Mornings are just a Few Steps Away
Four-year-old Chelsea knows she has to get dressed by 8 a.m. so her Mom can take her to preschool before her Mom goes to work.
But every morning it's the same thing: Chelsea wastes time, doesn't like the clothes her mother has selected and finds one excuse after another to avoid getting dressed.
And every morning the results are the same. Moving force - Mom in a hurry - meets immovable object - daughter who dawdles. Mom gets mad, Chelsea's tears are flowing, and the morning - for both mother and daughter - starts out disastrously.
If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. In many homes each day the same scene is replayed. Not just in the mornings, it can happen at lunch, at the end of daycare, or at bedtime.
The problem is those "between times" during which families have to change from one activity to another or go from one place to another.
So what's the answer for harried parents and dawdling kids?
Here are several steps for more peaceful in between times:
Make sure you connect
When you're in a hurry, your child is likely to sense that your interest and focus is on something else, not him. His reaction may be to get your attention back on him. He can do this by creating a problem digging in his heels and stalling.
But, to best reassure him that he's still important to you, make sure you connect with him. You can do this by engaging in at least one unhurried activity together during this transition time. Talk about a dream you had last night. Tell about your plans for today. Play a brief game you both enjoy. Snuggle together in front of the television for a few minutes.
Respect her needs
Your child has some needs in this situation. One could be that she needs some control. Give her some real choices in the situation. And recognize that she lives in the present and for her to shift from her present activity (whether it's sleeping, reading, or playing with a friend) to a new one involves giving up the current pleasure and shifting to something else.
So make sure you understand and respect this. Give advance warnings about changes. Let her know what the time frame is and what's on the agenda for the next few minutes or hours. Also, let her find a natural end point to an activity.
Create schedules and routines
A schedule is vey important in keeping things running smoothly. Create times for the days' events and then make sure you keep to the schedule.
Invent rituals that go along with transitions. For instance, when you pick your child up from daycare, develop a ritual that takes her needs into consideration. Something as simple as watching her play, reading the same story, or allowing her to use the slide on the playground can be the ritual that ends one activity and helps her to go on to the next one.
Leave enough time
The problem with our hurried lifestyle is that we don't often leave enough time to let kids make the transition at their own pace. Slow things down so you can take things in stride and leave enough time for the rituals and the connect time that becomes so critical in this process.