disrespectful kids

Disrespectful kids need patience, persistent parents

"I've tried everything, but I can't change my son's disrespect," a mother said recently.
        She had tried ignoring it, and she tried punishing his disrespectful comments. "But after he keeps it up," she said, "I get so mad I have to say something about it."
        She went on to say that, when she was raised, disrespect wasn't allowed at all. "Now I just can't stand it when a child is sassy, talks back or calls a parent a name," And she added, "I feel if I ignore that, my child will get the ideas that it's OK to be disrespectful to adults."
        I think disrespect bothers all parents and probably most adults. We all want our children to be respectful to all adults and to treat others in appropriate ways. So we teach this beginning at any early age. However, many impulsive, difficult and challenging young children are disrespectful anyway. Sometimes, this behavior then continues into later years.
        Like the mother in this example, you may have tried some discipline methods to train your child to speak in a respectf417ul way to you or others, but you've not been successful.
        Often when we're not accomplishing our behavioral objective with our child, it's because we are either making some fundamental mistakes or perhaps not really "trying everything."
        Let's review the basic discipline required in teaching children to talk n respectful ways.
        There are basically three steps in a discipline approach to changing disrespectful behavior.
1. Model and demonstrate the behavior you want your child to imitate. Be sure that you always treat your child and others in a respectful way. Don't sass your child and don't tell your child to "shut up" or say anything in front of her that would teach her to be disrespectful.
2. Ignore the disrespectful behavior. As hard as this sounds, i is one the best steps in an approach to changing irritating and attention-getting behavior such as disrespect and back talk
        Once you decide to employ this step, you cannot give in and speak about the disrespect. OK, one time you can say, "When you speak to me that way, I will turn my back on you." But you only get to say this once. Then, you must carry it out.
        However, since behaviors like disrespectful, sassy talk often is attention getting, there will be many attempts on a child's part to entice you or force you to respond. If you give in, you're just reinforcing the obnoxious behavior by giving it attention. You may need to take a parent time-out or relax in some way to continue to ignore it.
3. Reinforce the appropriate way to talk to you. Even the most disrespectful child will not always be sassy or talk back. Often, there will be appropriate comments and statements to you. You must not let these go unrewarded. Reward or reinforce them with praise, attention, or privileges.
        Say, "I like it when you talk to me in your polite way." Or "When you are respectful tome, I feel like letting have a special treat."
        To best handle an annoying behavior like disrespectful talk, use all three parts of this approach. Together, they make a powerful approach to change an irritating misbehavior.